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    Aren’t we supposed to sacrifice a little and compromise a little and aren’t we supposed to forgive??

    When I think about it, even when things got better and Dave seemed like he was back to being the loving version of my boyfriend, I would tell myself that I was so happy and so lucky and that everything was perfect again….I always felt the tension in my gut.

    If abusers were forced to wear a flashing sign that said “I’m an abuser,” and psychopaths came with the warning label, “Proceed with caution: I’m crazy,” then we would know not to trust them and we wouldn’t date them.

    Unfortunately, identifying an abuser is not this easy.

    I knew what they looked like because I paid attention during my sixth grade safety assembly.

    And every once in a while, they cleaned themselves up, put on nice clothes, and pretended to be an overly friendly stranger that tried to tempt kids like me with candy or ice cream or a ride in their windowless van.And I believed what I was told because it was the same version of the world I saw just about everywhere else.The classic villain, drawn with harsh accent and dark colors, and named things like Scar, Professor Snape, Cruela Du Vill; names that literally identified a character as evil.If we do not come to this, the cost of schooling is wasted.I was very interested in the relationship between the man who speaks and the woman who listens.

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